UHHHHH i like it like that

i moved up to thornton its bopring as fuck i have barely left this apartment this entire week...
i hope i do something tonight but i need to find someone that would get me adnd i dont think anyone will lol
i met some dude off myspace thats selling me weed...hes kinda weird
anytime i meet someone around my brothers age i always feel awkward around them i dont know why probably cause i feel like theyre so much older but theyre really not
me and nate are talking again like were friends again but its not how it used to be at all and he has a girlfriend sooo...
i like dre but i dunno lol...
he came and picked me up for the first time like a month ago and we got drunk and high it was really fun then we started making out and like everyone was over hahahahaha that was bad
but he kept saying how i was so hott and how he wanted to go out and stuff
but it was the liquor lol which makes me sad
and weve rolled a couple times together and i get to sleep in his bed with him
but he keeps on wanting to fuck and i wont and he gets mad guys always just wanna fuck i need some time damn...
now i live all far away and nothings gonna happen which really sucks
i wanna move back home already
i slept with sean...ahahahaha omg when we were done he looks at me and gives me a thumbs up!!
hahaha oh man...it wasnt that good i dunno...
I WAS LOUD as fuck i dont know why i always am tho and fucking oh man happy and his brother jeff give me shit everytime i see them now
and ahahahahah omg jeff walked in on us too asking for a lighter or some shit lol hes a dumbass
i left at like 8 in the morning...and ive seen him a couple times sense but nothings happeneing between us which sucks but i know nothin really ever will theres no point in expecting anything out of him lol

RED = ANGER
1. Are you currently mad at someone?
yeah fuckin emma is a bitch ass and keeps talkin shit...OVER THE PHONE OF COURSE
when i fuckinseee her im a spit in her fucking face little fuckin slut

2. Which of your family members has the worst temper?
poppa for sure me next tho

3. Have you ever thrown something at anyone?
...a shoe at alex...i really dont remember that one tho haha

4. Does your face turn red when you're angry?
...not sure but when im embaressed i can feel it get all hot lol

5. When you're mad do you prefer to stare angrily or yell?
FUCKIN SCREAM


ORANGE = EXCITEMENT
1. Has anyone ever thrown a surprise party for you?
nope

2. Are you easily excited?
yup anthen easil let down because nothing i get excited for actually happens

3. What event is coming up that you're most excited about?
boomin on the 4th...probably wont happen tho

4. If you won a million dollars, what would be your first thought?
clothes haha

5. If you could have anything right now what would it be?
this dude

YELLOW = SELF DISCOVERY
1. Name:
lesleie

2. Birthday:
may9th

3. What's your main goal in life?
get fucked up

4. Do you want to have children?
not fuckin right now

5. How do you want to die?
overdose

GREEN = OPINIONS
1. Are you against gay marriage?
yeah thats disgusting

2. Lower the drinking age?
oh yes

3. Capital Punishment?
dont really care

4. Abortion?
if you need to do it do it

5. Democrat or Republican?
rep

BLUE = LOVE
1. Do you love someone?
...no...

2. Do you have a bf/gf?
NOPE anthen every time a dude tries to talk me tthey go "hows a girl like you not have a boyfriend" I DONT KNOW EITHER

3. Is it better to have loved and lost than never loved at all?
dont know ive never loved

4. Do you believe in love at first sight?
yes...until you talk to them

5. Would you tattoo your lovers name on your body?
no

PURPLE = Q&A
Q: How many beds did you lay in today?
just mine

Q: What color shirt are you wearing?
white

Q: Name one thing that you do everyday?
smoke

Q: Look to your left.
hm

Q: What's the last piece of clothing you borrowed from someone?
kaylas short shorts

Q: What website(s) do you visit the most during the day?
myspace

Q: Do you have plants in your room?
no theyd die

Q: Does anything hurt on your body right now?
my heart

Q: What city was your last taxi cab ride in?
...ROME hahahaha

Q: Do you own a picture phone?
yeah its apeice of shit

Q: Recent time you were really upset?
fuckin right now bitches

PINK = LAST
1. Person you saw?
fucin parnents

2. Person that said they loved you?
someone i hear it from all the time

3. Movie watched in cinema?
live free die hard

4. Song you listened to?
ay bay bay

5. Person you talked on the phone with?
fuckin bitch ass haylee

GREY = TODAY
1. What are you doing right now?
not shit

2. What are you doing today?
woke up late as fuck for work...got a piss test the second i woke up and it shows up positive for meth...THEN MY MOM ACTUALLY BELIEVES I DO METH which is fucking ridiculous applioed at burger king fucking ridiculous fucking watched a movie with poppa and ate hot dogs...now this shit...THOUGHT i was gonna kick it with ricki butfuck that bitch too

3. What are you going to eat?
shit

4. Did you accomplish anything today?
NOPE

5. What shoes are you wearing?
not shit

BROWN = TOMORROW
1. Is?
more shit

2. My plans are?
not shit i have no life

3. Are you going to laugh?
no

4. Any TV show you watch coming on?
...rob and big :0)

5. Do you know what you will eat?
NO I DONT I DONT CARE

i think the scariest part about running aaway...is wanting to come home but being scared of how upset my parents are going to be...
im pathetic...
i dont know why i stay out like i do!!!! i feel so fuckin guilty...
but theyre asking me to fucking pay them like 500 a month...
and i think thats ridiculous then i go and do stupid shit like not being home for 2 days...
i feel so low
i came home at 2 in the morning last night so i wouldnt have to talk to them
then decided tos leep in the basement so they wouldnt know i was home and wouldnt try to talk to me
i need a fucking job...
me and nate ...made out
and i was like sobbing the entire time
fucking sobbing while we were making out...
how weird i was so happy to be with him...now he knows how much i missed him i really did
i love him
i dont have him back yet...but i think its not gonna take long
...bryan was there a different bryan
and he was massaging my hand the entire time!!! haha and nate was watching so i felt kind of uncomfortable but the next day nate was like yeah hes a raver/masseuse haha hes a touchyfeeely kind of guy...hes reall cute...and heated up arbys in the microwave for me
i cant start liking brian if me and nate are just started to be friends again...
i dont know tho
dre gave me a piggy back ride all the way from nates house to his hahaha...
i need to get a job

ughhguhguhg
my parents are making me pay rent...on top of my phone bill and car insurance...
so i gotta look for a new job...
had an interview today at some wack ass place...seems shady as fuck and i have to go back wednesday for a 3 hour interview...and its way the fuck out in arvada...
then i got another one at 7 today hope its not gay
i need money!
so brian is a fucking loser...
LOOOOOOOSER
omg he is so annoying he has like...something wrong with his nose if hes concentrating on something he'll start snoring@!!1 its sooooo gross!!!
hahahaha ew...
we keep hanging out and i think he gets pissed i dont do anything physical with him...
but maybe if you werent such a turn off..i would
yuck
today he got all pissed UGH and i hate how he texts!!! at first i was like oh cool hes black he just talks funny...
but...i can usually understand most niggers...
he just...talks and i think it just makes sense to him
hes sayin he wants me to fucking pitch on a sack
DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY SACKS I HAVE BOUGHT THAT I HAVE SMOKED WITH YOU
MORE THAN YOU HAVE FOR ME BITCH
god i hate him
anthen i say you gonna smoke me up
he goes...yeah with the beats?!
i go...ok when you gonna get me
and hes all....for what
FOR WHAT??? YOURE A FUCKING IDIOT
and we start arugin and i spell his name wrong
i guess its bryon
WHAT KIND OF FUCKING IDIOT SPELLS BRIAN BRYON
fuckin nigger what a fuckin akjgrenakje
then hes all...you fucked up a good thing
sorry for spelling your stupid ass name wrong
anthen he goes....give me head..
HELL NO
you think id give you head...i rarely do it first of all...
and second of all id probably hear you fucking snoring while i was doing it
disgusting
someone should woop his fuckin ass
fuckin dick
I LIKE HIS BRTOHER hajajajjaahahhaha
but i think his brothers an ass too...
i remember i spent the night at seans and was chillin with dre...anthen the next day someone called me from brians phone and it was a black dood and his voice was so sexy and i didnt wanna hang up so i kept talking but i was so tired i couldnt rememver anything i said...
i didnt know it was brians phone til i added his number a couple days later
but i think it was dre that was callin me
dre...fuckin...smacked me in the face with baby powder...called me a mark ass hoe whatever the fuck that means...kept smackin me with his tiki man keychain haha and attacked me with a sharpie...
but ya know what i like him
hes got a sexy ass lincoln
what am i doing...
every time i like a guy...i end up liking everyone related to him and all his friends hahaha
it sucks..
but dre is bad...smcks me around already i dont think so
oh well..
and sean...still makes me sad when i think about it but oh well its been a while and im gettin over it more and more as time passes
ugh brian is such a fucking loser hes disugsgtugitng!!!
nate...i finally chilled with him for the first time in a long ass time
i felt...like there was a lot of tension and it was awkward and he didnt look at me once the entire night or barely even talk to me...
guess that shits ruined too
i relly miss him...and he was right...he said
once i start hangin out with assholes ill realize how good he was to me...
he was absolutely right
im starting to cry again
i really love him i wish i could do something to make it better but i dont know what
i dont know if he cares about me at all anymore...
gosh that makes me so sad...
i wish i could have realized how much he meant to me before i fucked it all up
and he gave me no warning or either it was just over...
i wish i could talk to him about all this but i dont even know where id start...and how embaressing would that be
heart breaking
i dont think i know anybody thats liked me as much as he did
he liked me for like 5 months before i even met him so much wed talk on myspace all the time
i dont know what to do i wish he was back in my life though
theres definately a big whole...
and his life is probably the exact same
going out and partying every single night
while im alone every single night
or with fucking lame ass brian!!!
god damn
and fuckin alex comes over to give me back my pipe with chunk and joe...
and doesnt ask me to go out with them...
joe goes over to her house which is far as fuck everyday to pick her up
and hes cute
why cant i find guys that are good to me? or was nate the only one im ever gonne have but i fucked it up
how does alex meet NICE guys...and how can she be so rude to not invite me...
well theyre is only 3 seats in his car i guess i understand
but still...i feel left out
lonely
always lonely

italyyy and paris
ok im just gonna try to write down some good memories before i forget them
knockin some fat ass lady in a red shirt with my suitcase
"steeeve! she knocked me over"
and i just start runnin and laughin so hard hahaha
uhhh...
goin tannin at a 5 star hotel and the damn lady said it was just 100 steps...more like 1000 steps down and we wait at the bottom of the stairs for my mom for like 10 minutes then my brother has to go running up them cause we think she like fell or something hahaha my mom is clueless
furore was so beautiful! the whole town was on a cliff and you could see the ocean for miles and when the moon was out it reflected over the water
that stupid cat i kept feedin sausage anthen it hissed at me...aw lol
and what else
crying at the french restaurant cause i felt so stressed i couldnt read anything on the menu!!
break dancers in the middle of the street sexy ass black break dancers
hahahaha omg on the subway the first day we got to paris my dad gets smooshed by the door twice
anthen our last day in paris the whole family has to sneak behind people out the doors cause we didnt buy our tickets...
spending like 600 dollars at the italian restaurant and in the idiots guide to rome the restaurant had one dollar sign next to it hahaha and the food wasnt even good damn
spening 40 dollars on two beers and a glass of wine in france
going to the louvre...seein the mona lisa which was gay
palace of versaille!!! going in and me and my mom wouldnt stop talking about that movie with kirsten dunst
the cuuutie little french mousey girl who had so much energy haha
seeing the gardens...which was amazing seeing marie atoinettes village...ridiculous shit
the mile long lake thing they put in...that they made men dig up with shovels hahahaha
riding on the little golf car!!!!!!!!!! with my legs hanging out bahhasahha that was too fun...and then my leg almost getting cut off ...that old guy that said he was gonna mug us for it hahahahah wed go by poeple and theyd look soo exhausted hahaha
singing that umbrella song non stop with my brother...and mom thought he made up the entire time haha
dogs everywhere!!! just mutts and cats all over the place which was sad
going to the vatican and it starts POURING and we have to buy 5 dollar umbrellas even though they shoulda been like 2
going into fendi...louis vuitton salvatore ferraagamamga whatever prada all those ncie ass stores all on one street...and this tiny ass purse i could probably fit my phone cigs and lipgloss in was like 500 dollars ridiculous
eurochicken!!! that was the spot! hahahaha going there after me and my brother had some cocktails and we were already so stuffed already
anthen going back a couple days later and my dads chicken was like streaming with grease....that was the first time i have ever seen my father not finish his chicken hhahahaa
they eat there fries with mayonoise...which ...tasted good actually lol
i ate everything i could with my hands and my mom said it was a big no no in france but whatever no one said anything
riding the fuckin subway all the way to the aquaraium...anthen...uh oh its closed every tuesday! hahahaha paris was so weird no body worked there all the stores closed at like 8...and people eat there dinner until like midnight
crepes mmmmmmmm...with nutella and bananas so so so good
and the gelati!! yummmmm
im so sick of pizzas and spaghetti
and so tired of sandwiches
the girls all dressed so cute in france...then in italy they didnt
but the boys in italy definately were fine as fuck!
that old man with the blue blue eyes starin me down hahahaha oooh baby!
HAHAHAHA oh man we were waiting in line to get on the ship and all these young people kept cutting us
so the next guy that did my dad like pushed and was giving him shit hes all...uh theres a line back there what are you doing
and the guys just like "dont worry about it!" HAHAHAHAHHAAH omg i was laughing so hard
then my brother and him try to stand in the way so no more people will cut and then they just hold onto the other side of the railing and like squeeze past hahaha oh man
the read headed girl that was riding her bike and got hit by some dude opening his car door!!!
oh man...ill think of more and keep adding later

yoookay
so nate hates me
everyones mad at me hahahaha
trevor keeps sayin
you messin with the homies
i dont know how
and i asked nate if we ever slept together when i was high and he goes
if we did we did i dont remember either
anthen the next day he deleted me from myspace!!1
omg he was so pissed
now were better sort of...not really
it really makes me sad
nate was my best friend here
why do i go through friends so fast
or why de wo stop talking suddenly always
well i miss him oh well
i think hes tired of waiting around but i cant be with him just cause he likes me
we cant just be friends? that make out?
and maybe have sex hahahaha
omg everytime i stay over night no matter whos bed it is we always wake up together
with clothing on
so i dont think weve done it and the only reason i brought it up to him is because beaner fucking told me everyone thinks me and nate slept togethr
and people probably think i slept with sean
and everyone knows about richard ahahahaha
but i havent done shit with any dudes so i dont know
how im breakin up the homies how fucking gay
fuck your homies and fuck you
pfflttpflaat motherfucker
ok so new guy i guess
brian...
his father is like straight from africa with the shiny head and like daaaaark skin
hes got a little accent too hahahaha omg its so cute
anthen his mom is like straaaaaight white
like i thought it was his neighbor or something dude hahaa
brian...
hmmhmmhmmmmmmm
dres his brother
and happy said some weird ass shit about sean couldnt sleep cause me and dre were downstairs bein too loud
THAT NEVER HAPPENED
stupid ass bitches i hate these kids really
so dre i guess liked me a little anthen he just runs into me and his little brother
i think these dudes are too possesive like i cant hang out with anyone cause well see someone else and theyll get pissed its stupid
drama drama these dudes are worse then girls for real ugh
brians cool though i think
we'll see
but this isnt good you know
when you like someone its instant usually
i dont want me to have to wait for feelings to grow
but i think i do like him cause i kind of miss him lol
we hung out from like 12 to 10 one day anthen like all day the next day
it was fun
while we were driving for him and his friends to hoop
it started raining and the sun was still out
and dre goes
the devil is beatin his wife
it was a weird moment lol
i go to italy...in two days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FUCK THAT NIGGA

i have the worst self image right now
i havent felt this way...
ever
im too skinny everywhere
i lost the boobs i have
and now have a pot belly
i just went to the gym to work out...i couldnt fucking stay on the treadmill for longer than 8 minutes i was fucking exhausted
maybe i should quit smoking
i did like 200 sit ups...and...i think the whole fuckin gym saw my vag
im depressed again im always fucking depressed ugh
i feel like IM A SHITTY PERSON
i just got another 40 on my biology test
i have a paper due tomorrow...havent started it im probably not going to do it because i dont want to
fuckin dammit
i wish there was a hobby i enjoyed and was good at
im trying to gain weight but i eat one meal anthen im full for the rest of the day
my stomach sticks out so much and its still that way in the morning
i feel fucking hideous
and sean
is probably whats making me feel like this
i feel like i just had a bad break up or something and all i did was makeout with him a couple times and im taking it this hard
i havent liked a guy in so long
like actually liked liked
like cant stop thinking about him ever
hes so fucking hot...
with his big fucking chin
and his squinty blue eyes
and his stupid broncos tatto on his fat arm
why am i feeling like thsi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
nick was suppose to come over cause he wanted me to cut his hair
so i call him an hour later and...UH HES CLEANING SEANS HOUSE
the second i heard him say sean my heart felt like shit
WHY DOESNT SEAN LIKE ME...
because i didnt fuck him?!
I THOUGHT GIRLS WERENT SUPPOSE TO FUCK RIGHT AWAY TO GET A GUY TO LIKE HER
FUCK THAT SHIT
ughghhghgghgghghhgh
im going to see him all the time because his friends are the only friends i have this fucking sucksucksucksucksucksudcksbubritbbbbbbbbbbb
what did i do to make him stop liking me i dont even know if he liked me in the first place
this hasnt happened in so long
i havent felt like this in so long! but im so fucking sick of being in relationships just to be in one and not even like the person
i wish i could be with sean! or just have him tell me i smell good again
or canoodle with me god damn
welp what can i do
i think theyres a lot behind it
i told my counselor about the sean and nate thing
and im in a nother fucking love triangle
and she says i cant be friends with both
i need my relationship with nate other wise i would have no friends
but i fucking want sean so damn bad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
so that is one reason i think he doesnt like me because of the whole nate thing
and then i didnt have sex with him
anthen i acted like a fucking drunk dumb ass and just showed up at his house and talked to his brother about how much i liked him oh my god i wonder what his brother told him
UGHGUHGUGHGUHGGUHGUGHGUHGUGHUGHG
IM USUALLY IN CONTROL.
THE GUY LIKES ME WAY TOO MUCH AND I SORT OF LIKE HIM
THATS WHAT IM USED TO
NOW I LIKE HIM WAY TOO MUCH AND HE DOESNT
THIS IS HEART BREAKING
and i cant fucking complain about it to anyone!
itll get back to him
this is hell
i need to fucking fix my life
i need to fucking gain 10 lbs
FUCK COCAINE
i need to fucking...study and get good grades
i need new friends
life is so hard when am i going to have it easy

i like him a lot
and we were suppose to hang out friday :0(
i had the car all night
and im a dumbass and didnt even think of him until like 4 in the morning
then he says we can hang out but i was too tired
BUT i did ask happy where he was...AND HAPPY SAID HE WAS WITH HIS EX FIANCEE
wtf
WHAT THE FUCK
every time id ask where richard was theyd say he was with his girlfriend
now i bet eveytime i ask where sean is theyll say hes with his ex fiancee
WHAT THE FUCK AGAIN
i cant believe he was engaged
wow
i keep looking up information on leos haha i get so obsessed
i fucked up and hooked up with nate friday
i hope he doesnt hear about it
gosh
im sad
today at church during bible study we talked about relationships the entire time and sex before marriage and WOW it was so uncomfortable lol
i havent had sex in like...7 months
omg i like him so much its ridiculous i dont know what to do
fuckin aaron took my car while i was passed out
haha friday was so fucked up
we got a bottle and i took like 5 shots in 10 minutes
then i fuckin drive to this party drunk as fuck and take 3 more shots
then i remember going into some room with nate and we started making out...anthen i remember being at trevors house in bed with nate still HAHAHA WHAT THE FUCK
and when i wake up we dont know where my car, phone, or purse is
it really wasnt that much fun...
i dont have fun anymore
and fuckin hang overs ugh
i bet if we were with sean it would have been fun
seanseansean
ugh ugh ughuguggughuhgugugugguhghughughuguugghuguguughguggugugu
what am i doing
shouldnt i be texting him and being flirty
instead of just waiting for him to text me and he probably wont
why do ido this why dont i be a big girl and fuckin go talk to him
im stupid
i said i needed a girlfriend
and he said he did too
and all i said was "lol"
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME
WHY CANT I BE CUTE AND FLIRTY AND HINT THAT UHHHHH YEAH GO OUT WITH ME DUH
OH MAN
but now i feel like im being desperate...ew
he told me to hit him up last night
and i did
and it took him a whole hour to text me back
WHAT THE HELL hahahaa oh man...
i shouldnt have to wait an hour...he should be on that shit
im really scared he heard about nate...BUT THAT SHOULDNT EVEN MATTER BECAUSE IM NOT WITH HIM why am i freaking out
i think he lost interest.omg
A FIANCEE
now im gonna do what i always do
and just not talk toh im at all or text him at all
WHY
and wait for him to do something
which i dont know will happen for sure
and if it doesnt...WELP GUESS I GOTTA WAIT UNTIL I JUST BUMP INTO HIM AT SOME RANDOM PARTY
im fuckin crazy

hmmmmm whats goin on
just had a terrible terrible break up
BUT IM OVER IT
good thing i get sad about boys for less than 3 days right haha
so now this sean thing...
we made out and it was oh so good like unbelievable
maybe because i was rollin like a mother fucker
or maybe cause ive liked him sense the first time i met him and he told me i smelled good
but
he is a chef...his eyes are so blue mmmm
he can buy my liquor
he is like 6 two im glad im meeting tall men finally
aaaaand i dont know he just seems great
but i do remember...this is bad lol
he fucked marsha the fat mexican...
HAHAH oh shit
i think hes one of those fuck anything type of guys
but i dont understand cause he is DAMN FINE MMMM
...i should ask marsha what happened between them to
but what if she tells him i was asking and i scare him away
shoot
i think he is a...player...hahahaha i cant remember the last time i ran into one of those
middleschool?
i am soOOoOoOoooOOOOOOO excited for friday
seans best friends with nate though...but i think nates chill now and understands i dont want to be in a relationship with him just good good friends
sean hustles and sold bo some
and bo said the shit stuck to a window its so damn sticky
on my 18th birthday all them are gonna smoke me up
HAHAHA ILL BE SO RETARDED
im gonna be kind of embaressed cause i act fuckin stupid on that shit
i feel happy right now...
life is good
i got a 45 on my science test and i got another one this thursday and havent even opened the fuckin book
but ya know what...i feel good
seans hot and thats all i can think about for now hahaha

MMmMmmMMmmm i like boys!
sean is so fine...WOW
but i should forget about that cause nothing would happen im sure
oh well
it was fun

why am i so attracted to military men
richard...
now drew...
i gotta do what i did for richard to drew though for sure HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
and every military man i meet before theyre sent off boohoo

i am 700 dollars in debt...
WHAT THE FUCK

ooooh i love being home
king crabbbb lobsta taaails and salmon steaks
my family loves me too much...
I BROKE MY FUCKING WINDSHIELD
by kicking it
because im a drunk
im so scared to tell them!!!!!
i dont know how much longer i can wait ooh

i dont want to do nursing anymore
only reason i said i was was so i could meet a doctor
now what am i gonna do
LONELY AND DEPRESSSED

i KNOW im very attractive.
but why dont i have ANY confidence
i need a new pesonality

im lonely...

so...

I hear they have these cellular telephones now, and using them people can speak instantaneously with anyone whose number they posess.

truly revolutionary I know.

But I found this flaw in it.

you see sometimes, people don't reply to these messages of text you can send to one another,

and then the whole purpose is gone.

thoughts?

FROM ANDREW...
BAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHA

my mom says TELL HIM HES CHEAP AND LOSER!
i really wish i could
but ide also add that he has eye boogers and needs to blow his nose and needs a job oh and a car ohhh AND he should probably go to college already
but ide just feel too bad so ill just say it here hahahahahahah
should i just never text him back ever again? or message him on myspace again??? but i really would like to hook up ...
but isnt that a privilege he should earn...he definately hasnt
AND HE TELLS ME THE OTHER DAY
hes hooked up with more asian woman than white woman...am i just gonna be another notch on his bedpost or whatever
fuck that nigger

andrews a fuckin loser...
i cant listen to him talk anymore it drives me insane
we started talking about past relationships and i told him i didnt think we were together and he was upset hahahaha
and...HE DOESNT PAY FOR SHIT
he couldnt even buy me fucking 5 dollar lo mein?! when im the one fucking picking HIS ass up?!
what the fuck he should have a car and he should have money and what a homo
so im not probably gonna ever go out in public with him cause then we'll have to talk
i think im gonna have him over tomorrow...just to makeout hahaa
thats it
and nate...
i think bringing a ladder to my house to sneak me out is going to be like a weekly thing haha
but nate...
no thanks
he told me he loves me the other day drunk on the phone
he probably doesnt remember but that is weird he is very very against the L word
but last night we didnt kiss at all...we spooned all night...
blah blah blah
i dont know why cant i find any good guys
well nate is a good guy...but...i wantgood guys that...arent dirty and salty
he payed 20 dollars for my taxi thismorning...SEE NOW THAT KIND OF THING...YOU DONT TALK ABOUT IT YOU JUST DO IT
i told my mom i dont like andrew anymore and we both made fun of him for a little bit haha
when my mom and dad met he bought her everything! he took her shopping and shed always bring her friends so he had to buy them lunch and dinner too...
see...now i think i see why she married him
cause she knows how much he loves him
and i mean...andrew...atleast when we first start dating he has to pay right!?!?! he should WANT to pay
fuck that shit
i know nate would pay but blah it just wouldnt look good i dont think
i hope i dont sound like...materialistic if thats the right word
BUT ITS JUST LIKE A FUCKING RULE
hes suppose to buy me mother fucking lunch
i had to buy HIM coffee once! ridiculous
i like this guy sean kinda
hes cute and hes going to chef school and he has a gun hahahahaha
but hes nates friend and i already hooked up with richard so i wouldnt want to do that twice to richard...
fuckin parties with no girls...usually is fun
but last night everyone was fucking grabbing me and poking me and staring at me it was so uncomfortable!!!

ok
had my first day of work today
the managers kinda cute...HAHAHAHHAHAHA
just kidding
hes actually kinda fat and really mexican
but wudeva
i get what i can get right
just kidding again
but no i could totally see us like making out in the freezer thing
then theres this weirdo guy
when i meet someone...its like this instant...thing
i can just tell BAM this dudes got an asian fetish
and yeah its weird but i like to like...flirt with them
wink at them and stuff
HAHAHAH no im kidding again but ill start winking at him
im replacing him apparently hes a terrible worker and talks about asian girls all day so they dont want him working there but he doesnt know yet poor guy
joo man is sexy
14 year old sexy
when i see him play the drums in praise band....OOOOOO WEEEEE
hahahahha i shouldnt have those thoughts in church but he is amazing
hes the korean usher everyone calls him usher
hes too damn fine
i remember my friends 3 years ago would always think he was so cute and now i do
the fucking 14 year old gook hahaha
he said i was too old
i could teach him things
i love having a crush on every boy at church even if theyre hideous just because its like
theyre church boys...theyre forbidden...they are clean and pray before they eat
i could dirty them up pretty good i think
just kidding i wouldnt really
maybe with jooman though...
so alex calls me...the first time in forever...
and when were talking she just tells me pointless fucking annoying stories and im barely listening
then when we hang up im like LETS HANG OUT
i got so excited and i sneak out and i was soooo anxious
and when i get therre...its like....
oh my god...i forgot this was what i used to do
fucking do coke all day fucking smoke cigarettes and smell like fuckin stinky ass cigarettes all day do nothing
trying to listen to her talk...SHES GONE RETARDED she cant remember what shes trying to say half the time and she shit she talks about is just so damn pointless...LIKE DO I CARE? NO...then she'll complain about shit like fucking jerk offs she always likes...and she'll tell me how they treat her like a bitch...STOP SEEING HIM STOP BEING AROUND THAT SHIT!
drives me nnuts
i used to be so sad thinking what is she doing why isnt she calling is she having fun with out me...
and when i get there...EW! YOU STILL HANG OUT WITH THESE FUCKIN LOSERS THIS IS WHAT YOURE STILL DOING!
the entire time i was there i was thinkin i gotta go go go
and on the way home i was SO happy...
im so much better than that...
and i wish she would realize that she is too...
it makes me so sad i pray for her and cry thinking about her but i dont know how to help her
shes a stubborn little bitch
something about her definaltey changed
she used to...LISTEN
kate says "ever sense that song Bossy came out shes just been a little bitch"
hahahaha fuckin kelis you ruined my friends life
oh well...
FUCK HER